Supernatural telephone call

The intercom sounds and God hears the voice of his secretary say that he has a phone call on line one, it the Master of the Universe she says. A shiver goes down his spine; “this can’t be good” is God’s first thought. So he takes a deep breath and picks up the phone.
“Hello, this is God speaking, how are you Sir and what can I do for you?”
“Hi God, I’m fine thanks. How are you? I hope I haven’t caught you at a bad time?”
“I’m as well as can be under these circumstances. No not at all”
“Good, because this will take a wile. Its these so-called circumstances that I want to talk to you about.”
God sighs and replies: “I was wondering when you might call me about that.”
The Master of the Universe’s voice has a sombre tone when he says: “I am terrible sorry that I have to tell you this, especially considering the marvellous job you did with the creation of that little blue planet you are now supervising, but your results have become worse and worse. The shareholders are breathing down my neck about it and whisper that I should do something about it.
Gods voice sounds almost sad when he says: “so …. you are firing me?”
“I am afraid so, unless you give me a reason, a really good reason, not to”
God feels a mixture of sadness and frustration and first, but then there is only relief, like a big weight that has fallen from his shoulders. And before he can restrain himself he starts telling his boss how horrible the last two million year have been:
“It has been terrible, every time I tried so set things right again I failed or it turned against me. I’m almost glad that you are firing me. It all started when the board decided to have self-aware employees. Which at first brought better results, but everything went wrong when they tried to understand how their environment worked; because they couldn’t understand a lot of things. Before I could do anything about it the stared worshiping these unexplainables. This was keeping them from their work, so I tried to make them stop. But I found out that I couldn’t directly communicate with them, because they can’t understand anything outside their three dimensions. Instead of solving the problem, it made it worse. Now they started forming religions and making up deities. Not only did these ‘people’ (that what they call themselves) started worshiping something they made up, but also started killing ‘people’ from other religions. These self-aware mammals always were a violent species, at first the violence weight up to the better result of self-ware employees. But they started to form nations and conquering others and became quite good at killing each other. Something needed to be done, so I tried to contact them once more, and since it didn’t work out trying to stop them from worshipping me in all those different ways, I tried to get them all to worship me the same way, just one deity instead of many. This turned out to be a total disaster, they misunderstood everything. I don’t exactly know what went wrong, but instead of one, three religions were formed. These religions started to eradicate every other form of religion and then each other; instead of preaching love like they intended and were supposed to, they preached hate against they others. They made rules and books that contained them, according to them given by my. I have no idea where those books came from, but not from me, I tell you that. “
All this time the master of the universe has been silent, listening in amassment and after this last words he can’t control himself any longer and just burst out with laughter: “whahahaha ….. they …… they worship you?”
With a sigh god replies: “Yes, they do and I can’t do anything about it.”
“So making them self-aware wasn’t a good idea?”
“Well it worked for some, but most just are just greedy and sadistic”
After a long pause the Master of the Universe replies:
“well … some research has to be done, but from what you told me it seems like this isn’t your fault. The question now is what are we going to do with this failed experiment? Most likely these ‘people’ have to be exterminated to make room for new employees. What do you think?
God is just relieved to be of the hook, but he tries not to sound too happy and keep his voice steady: “ yes, I think that not much can be salvaged and that we have to start form scratch, even though the board members won’t be pleased with that.”
A thoughtful reply form the other end of the line: “you’re right, but if what you just told me is true we have no other option.”
“There is just one little problem; I’ve tried that already a few times, to start over. They are worse then roaches, somehow they overcame I’ve everything sent at them: a world-covering flood, a plague and now there is a world-wide venereal disease raging on, but still they keep going. I really am at wits end. “
“Then we have no other alternative to start an apocalypse. I’ll get my secretary to make all the necessary resources available to you: natural disasters, viruses and diseases. It’s to bad it had to come to this. Unless the second opinion proofs otherwise there is no other option then to eradicate the ‘self-aware’ what ever means necessary. But do try not to damage the little blue planet to much, it can be reused for another breed of employees.”
“Understood. Does that mean I will keep my job?”
“The outcome of the research will determine the truth of your story, if it is you will keep your job, of course. You’re not the blame for a failed experiment. So …. I’ll call you back when I have the research results.”
“Ok, I understand. Thank you.”
“Goodbye.”
“Goodbye.”